Recycled post ... sort of

I haven't been blogging. I'm sure you've noticed. The truth is, I haven't slowed down long enough to ponder my thoughts. Tonight, I finally did. I was playing a song before Bible Study began. It's one I play often, and it was definitely on my heart. Everything went fine, until the final note. I just played the wrong chord altogether. It made me laugh, it made me think of the post I have reposted below, and then it almost made me cry. I'll tell you why in a minute.

--- Originally posted on August 6, 2010 --- Major Minors

At times, when goals still seem so far from being met, it's easy to think you haven't accomplished much. I'm not talking about a pity party, although I still have those. It's more of a drill sergeant-type self lecture: "Allen! You have got to pick it up!" or "Do not make this mistake again!"

Fortunately, when I have those moments, it's never too long before some positive little memory from the past floats to the surface. I may run across someone who brings it to mind, I may be going through student records and recall an occurrence, or it may just come to me in a silent moment. It's not important how it arrives, but that it does.

Our church is small. Our ministries are big. We aren't a Latin-instructing preschool, or an Ivy League preparatory high school, but we do change lives for the better - always with His help.

A memory came to mind today while I was thinking about needing new floors in the commons area, and tricking myself into believing that my students are somehow disadvantaged by the mustard shade of linoleum that is there at present. Suddenly, I remembered a single mother who was at a crossroads I hope I never stand at. She was on her own with a 10-month-old, and she had to be honest about something in order to enroll her child in our day care center. I could tell she was cringing inside because she was expecting to be judged.

I believe God allows each and every one of us to experience things for the express purpose of having the right mindset to handle some event in the future. I am so grateful He did that for me. Otherwise, today I would cringe at how I handled that woman's confession. Instead, because of what His grace did for me, I was able to look her in the eye and offer reassurance, and care for her baby while she earned a living. Our facilities might not be as shiny and new as my human self would like them to be, but that day God was able to use our day care ministry to make a difference in two lives.

Since having that remembrance early this morning, my day has been peppered with recollections. Some have made me laugh, and some have brought tears to my eyes. All of them have shown me that my God is a composer, a weaver, a master artist.

I love music that incorporates minor chords. The sharp change from a bright, full chord, to the one that seems slightly incomplete gives me chills. When I play, I love to hold out a suspended chord. Even though I'm seemingly in control of what I'm creating, my ear waits at point for the resolve.

When we step off track. When we lose our way completely. When we take something complete and full and choose to change it. In those instances, I believe God just sees that He's going to have a little more interesting finished piece. He'll use the minor chords of our own creation to do something beautiful and unexpected further down the road.

------------------------------------------------------------------

... and back to present day.

It is so easy to lose sight of our purpose. I fear I've gotten off track as of late, I've felt that way for a while. I've been praying about it, God knows what's up and I trust Him to make the crooked ways straight. Tonight, He once again, in an awesome but gentle way, showed me that He has heard. He reminded me that He uses the foolish things to confound the wise, and that in my weakness, He is strong. My wrong note is still music to His ears, so long as it is played for the right reasons. Therefore, I know my life still has purpose in His kingdom, as long as it is lived in a way that points to Him.