Lock your doors! Hide your SAT scores!

Welcome to the Socialist States of America!! I've been awake less than an hour and my distaste for the direction of our nation is freshly and fully renewed. Why, I ask, are thousands of GM dealers across this country losing their life's work? More importantly, why are the whiny, often-lazy, manipulative unionized laborers that the hard work of these very dealers has supported for three decades keeping their employment and benefits, and blood-sucking unions? Trust me, the inflated and ridiculous demands of unions had everything to do with GM going under. Dealers working seven days a week to move and sell the consequently over-priced, non-competitive end product were not the problem. This perplexes me, yet I think I've found the answer: Unions were one of the first (for lack of a better term) stupid steps toward socialism, so it's only natural for the idiots in power to preserve these entities. I mean, it would be counterproductive to harm the foundation of the welfare-state structure. Conversely, the dealers are actually self-made people, with a little bit of personal wealth, and hey(!) ambition and intelligence, and their kind simply won't fit in with the new and better, "changed" America.

I had this revelation, and then started thinking like Big Brother. Two men laid off in Knoxville were on the news this morning. They lost their jobs, but instead of kicking back in the recliner and living off tax dollars for a few months, the very day they lost their jobs, they started a new business. Ironically, this business makes money by cleaning up foreclosed homes for resale. Bet the government didn't see that one coming!! HA!! Nevertheless, this action again shows the men to be self-sufficient, and therefore, not ideal for citizenship in our new and changed states.

I was discussing IQ scores with people yesterday and it occurred to me: If you've got a score higher than 110, you'll want to keep it under wraps. Better yet, hook yourself up to the toaster and see if you can shave off a few points. You don't want to appear too smart these days, it may soon be considered treason.